Secret swank ship suites?

Ask most cruise aficionados about the existence of secret VIP staterooms aboard cruise ships, and they'd say, "occasionally rumored, but where's the proof?"

After all, plenty of spectacular staterooms that qualify as VIP digs--like Queen Mary 2's 2-story duplex apartments, or newer Norwegian ships' 3000+ square foot garden villas--are well-publicized and can be purchased by anybody with the substantial means necessary. No secret there. But we recently got to experience an off-the-deckplan, can't-be-purchased accommodation firsthand, onboard Carnival Fascination.

While these two secret swank suites aboard select Carnival Fantasy-class ships are officially called penthouse 1 and penthouse 2, Carnival insiders refer to them as either owner's suites, or "Mickey suites," after Carnival Corporation chairman Mickey Arison. They don't appear on any deck plans, and they can't be booked at any price. Only senior executives of the cruise line or those lucky few with special dispensation can sail in them. A lot of Carnival employees don't know they exist.

The penthouses are hidden in plain sight, yet with blank-faced entry doors off the beaten path to give their occupants privacy. Beyond the wet bar in the foyer is an enormous, well-appointed living and dining room, a large bedroom, and in turn a marble-trimmed bath and walk-in closet. We were amused to find that enough fiddling with the veritable switchboard of lighting knobs next to the bed resulted in red mood glow on the ceiling.

And, apparently, the ship's staff was unaccustomed to having such lowbrow types as ourselves berthed in the penthouse, since whenever we tried to charge something to our shipboard account they refused to believe it was our stateroom and demanded proof.

Oh, and last but certainly not least, should they be reading this, we send a big thank-you to the Carnival people who arranged this major upgrade for us!