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Saturday, March 31, 2007

How to fall overboard from a cruise ship

Mainstream media has been agog the past few weeks about two bizarre man-overboard incidents, with some breathless coverage insinuating that taking a wrong turn on the way to dinner could land you in the drink. But in fact, getting over high cruise-ship railings takes work, frequently in combination with booze and imprudence.

The first of these oddball cases involved Michael Mankamyer, 35, who, following a an argument with his godson onboard Carnival Glory March 16, decided in an apparent fit of pique to disembark via a flying leap off a 60-foot-high ship’s balcony 30 miles from the coast of Florida.

Mankamyer turned up on Good Morning America last week and said he had been "ready to let loose and party," combined unspecified medicine and lots of alcohol, and didn't remember going overboard. Once in the water, he said he looked for dolphins to save him, but instead needed to wait eight hours, after drifting 20 miles, for the Coast Guard cutter Chandeleur. A Coast Guard helicopter dropped a rescue swimmer to assist Mankamyer into a basket for hoisting into the chopper. This guy should be playing the lottery with luck like that.

Wondering how the Coast Guard stumbled across this needle in a haystack 20 miles from the jump site? The South Florida Sun-Sentinel reported that a new computer system called SAROPS helped the Coast Guard successfully predict where the winds and tides had taken Mankamyer to narrow their search.

Some wags have theorized that Mankamyer, not a skinny guy, was protected from hypothermia, and helped to float, by his girth.

The second incident unfolded last weekend when a 22-year-old man and 20-year-old woman went over a Grand Princess balcony railing 150 miles off Galveston, Texas, in circumstances they've asked Princess not to publicize. The pair, who reportedly didn't know each other prior to the cruise, were fished out of the water naked over four hours later by the ship's rescue craft. After onboard medical treatment, the man continued on with his cruise, but the woman decided to cut her vacation short at the next port of call.

The happy endings of these cases are a testament to the sophisticated man-overboard procedures followed by cruise lines, and the search-and-rescue techniques implemented by the Coast Guard.

Meanwhile, what should somebody considering a cruise take away from all this ridiculousness? The answer is simple. Treat railings on a ship with the same care as a hotel balcony, and don't goof around near them. Maybe consider not overindulging in booze... or stay inside if you do. It takes work to fall overboard.

In the unlikely event you see somebody go overboard while on a cruise ship, notify a crew member or dial the emergency phone number noted on every phone so the bridge officers can mark the location, and toss some lifejackets or liferings overboard, since they dramatically increase an individual's visibility in the water.

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